Filed under: Bunnies
I don’t know if I should be relieved or hurt that my shelleylyn.com domain name could have lapsed for months without anyone snatching it up. My therapist is trying to get me to be more positive so maybe I should just be happy. Not all that good at that these days but hell I’ll give it a shot. I suppose it is also a good sign that I finally got around to renewing. Other things I’ve recently been motivated to do:
-follow through with a couple of diagnostic tests, more than one of which were particularly uncomfortable
-put my house back on the market
-clean out the bunny hutch
-organize half of my closet
-try pan frying tilapia
Ok, the bunny hutch is still a mess, but this week. For sure.
I don’t w
Filed under: web2.0
Enrich_hughmcleod
Originally uploaded by Juan Freire
I have been tired. But here. Working hard at American Express. Still fighting the after effects of multiple surgeries and cancer. Working hard at marriage. Working hard at keeping my sanity 
I do have two new bunnies! Dutch and Rex. Dutch comes when he is called, snuggles me, and gives kisses. He’s a love-bunny. Rex is shy, but he will come up to me if I sit very still. Once he’s in my lap he’s a snuggle bug. The dogs have even learned not to chase the bunnies.
And we also have new goats. They were bottle fed so they will follow us around the barnyard and demand snuggles and pets. In fact, I think they’d rather be pet than get hay.
That’s where I am. Somewhere between where I was and where I’m going.
So we have been moving the fence around to get the back yard in shape for when we put our house on the market. We threw the dogs in the goat pen to keep them out of the way and safe. Great for the dogs… not so good for the goats. (Play death dirge here). My dogs play rough with each other, but the goats weren’t made to play like that. They didn’t make it.
In Memoriam:
Wilson loves you
Kumar loved sweet feed
So you may (or may not) have been following my cancer/surgery saga. What I haven’t been talking about is my husband’s story. To make a very very very long story short- Rob is currently waiting for his surgery to start and I’m roaming the halls of Logan Regional Hospital because I can’t take the sights and smells of the surgical wing.
Two interesting things have happened since I started wandering-
1-I ran into the OB doc who first told me I had cancer. He recognized me, said hello and then ran from me like a bat out of Hell. That was reassuring.
2-I found a display of really old medical instruments that look and sound like torture devices. Among other things there is a tonsil guillotine, a neurological hammer, a head tong, and adult mouth gags.
As if I needed more proof that the medical profession is a thinly veiled human suppression system designed by Satan and the One World Government.
So this is the hospital stay that never ends. If you follow my blog for my brilliant commentary on social media for learning, or for my pithy reviews of new software, sorry.
All I have to say these days is that I hurt. My attention is completely absorbed with fevers, night sweats, pelvic pain and pressure, and an endless parade of CNAs taking my vital signs. Believe me, if you think you are sick of reading these posts, just imagine how sick I am of writing them.
If it sounds like I’m feeling just the tiniest bit sorry for myself, I am. It should pass once the nurse brings my next dose of Toradal. Or maybe I’ll finally convince that arrogant radiologist to drain the damn fluid that is causing all of this pain.
I am impatient. It’s been two weeks since my surgery and I’m ready to be back to normal. I ended up in the hospital again today because I’m still hurting. I had a CT Scan and apparently there is some inflammatory fluid and blood in my pelvic region causing pain. I guess my body didn’t like being cut into.
I also have some nerve damage in my leg that likely came from me being dangled upside down while my oncologist sliced and diced. Something was pinched and my whole inner thigh is numb. Awesome, eh? Ok. that’s enough griping for today.
Instead, here are a few things I’m grateful for…
- a wonderful, loving husband
- mia familia
- all my mutts
- DVRs
- the Orton’s Christmas Lights that I can see from my bedroom window
- great neighbors who care for my animals when I can’t
It’s time. Time for me to feel like taking a walk again, putting up a Christmas tree, shopping with my sisters, reading a book, going to a concert, like engaging with my life again. I just wish someone would inform my gut. It hurts. Stupid cancer.
Originally uploaded by shelleylyn
I’m finally home after surgery. We made a stop at my parents house for a couple of days while I got strong enough to manage my animals at home. I also picked up my mom’s cough and a bladder infection. Apparently hourly trips to the bathroom are not a common side effect of a hysterectomy. I’m on antibiotics now and grateful for modern science.
I’m glad to be back home. I missed my dogs. Unfortunately, we are now out of cats… Shadrack was squashed by a goat, Mishak was murdered by my deceptively sweet-seeming terrier, and Abednego froze without his brothers to keep him warm. We have officially and reluctantly declared our home and barn a kitty-free zone. It is just not safe to be a cat here.
But the mutts are all healthy and happy. Ginger is getting her spots and has learned not to jump ON us. Instead, she jumps NEAR us when we come home or when she gets to come inside. The big dogs are sweet and loving and Jolee is just as much of a princess as ever. Too much dog-talk, I know… but they bring me joy so you get to hear about it.
I’m anxiously awaiting the pathologist’s report after my surgery. The oncologist said it would be at least 10 days after the surgery to get the report back. Because my case is so unusual, they will probably send it back to the medical professor at Harvard who first diagnosed my condition. We’ve got a follow-up appointment set up for next Monday when we’ll find out if, or how much, the cancer has spread. I’m hoping that the surgery got it all out, and I’ll be done with this whole mess, but we’ll have to see. If they put me through radiation treatment, I’ll likely have to sit alone in a hospital room for a week at a time. (Apparently it’s a bad idea to have visitors when you are radioactive…)
So here is a sampling of the jokes my sibs have told about me being radioactive…
“Rob won’t need a nightlight if he has to get up at night, he can just throw back the covers and I’ll light his way to the bathroom.”
“If our microwave goes on the fritz, no worries, I can reheat leftovers on my own.”
And you can imagine how the jokes just devolved from there… my dad eventually pulled the “plug” and told us to knock it off.
It’s been almost a week since I had a hysterectomy. The oncologist says it will likely be another week before the pathology report is back and we know if the cancer has spread or not.
It’s a good thing that I’ve been hurting so much-it takes my mind off of the waiting and focuses my whole attention on my gut. Well, my gut and the wierd hand-shaped numb spot on my right inner thigh. The swelling in my belly is down so I can see that the skin in that spot is discolored a bit… kind of looks like an abrasion, but it doesn’t hurt like one. Wierd-and distracting, which, like I said, is good
Here are some pearls of wisdom I’ve learned doing since I got home from the hospital…
- Being able to pee is an ability that I’ll never take for granted again.
- My husband loves me and while he is strong and loving through this, I can see that he is deeply concerned about me and my welfare.
- My mom is an angel. She’s making “quiet books” for my nieces and nephews for Christmas and I’ve had a great time helping her. Today I made four sets of tennis shoes that lace up, two felt Christmas trees that have button ornaments, and a Temple that is a puzzle. These will all go into the quiet books to help little ones keep busy and quiet during church services. It’s good for me to have a creative outlet right now.
- A heating pad can be like the Balm of Gilead when you hurt.
- My Jolee Dog is really just an external manifestation of my own soul.
- Sleep can be delicious.
